Life has been really great lately. Tim has found his passion at seminary, studying apologetics and theology, and at work, as an associate junior high minister. I've been able to (barely, at times) stay afloat between work, school, and home life. Jack is the biggest joy of our lives. Even as a 2-year old, he manages to make us laugh our heads off every single day.
But while we are thriving, I have a confession to make. Our house is a MESS! It is the one part of our life that we simply can't keep up with. The main level gets cleaned the most, because that's where we spend the most time, but our bedrooms and the basement sit completely trashed 24/7. We moved into our new home vowing to keep it nice and treat it as the blessing that it is, but so far we have failed miserably.
I'm having trouble deciding if this is something that I should be concerned about. One of my counseling professors talked with me and my in-class client once about my client's huge amount of stress over working full-time, being a mom to a 5-year old, and trying to do all of the housework, thanks to her deadbeat husband (in her opinion). My professor's take on it was, what's the worst that could happen if you just accept a messy house? If it lowers your stress level to minimize the cleaning and housework, then why not just let it be? Worse things could happen than having a messy house. I liked that.
It worked for me for awhile, trying to convince myself that it's okay to just leave my home a wreck. As long as it doesn't become unhealthy or anything gross like that, I had to remind myself each morning as I stepped over toys and sippy cups and old mail, then it's okay to just let it go and worry about it when I have the time and motivation. But the fact that I had to try and convince myself of this daily convinced me of something else: I am definitely NOT okay with a messy house. I certainly don't require perfection, but I can't live in a mess. I just can't - the mess stresses me out almost as much as trying to keep up with cleaning it.
So, my last few weeks have been trying keep up and clean whenever I have a chance, even if it's just a few small messes at a time. I'm still really bad at keeping up with the laundry in our bedrooms, but I have managed to have small victories, like making the bed every day (for the first time in YEARS!), and keeping the three of us in clean clothes, even if that means washing three outfits the night before we need them. I've also been running the dishwasher more often, even when it's not completely full. (I am all about efficiency, so I have a hard time running it when it's not completely stuffed full of dirty dishes. But, if it means taking dirty dishes off of the tables and counters and getting them clean, I will do it now. Otherwise they'll sit in there for a long time.)
I'm trying to do better. I think I missed the memo about how to be a good cleaner, or about why I should be motivated to clean my house. I absolutely hate taking the time to clean. If I have a rare free moment, I want to plant my booty on the couch and relax on facebook or watch my DVR'ed reality shows. But I guess if I hate the mess, I should do something about it. It's kind of the same thing that I've always thought about if I hate feeling fat, I should do something about that too instead of just complaining about it.
So anyway, if you come to my house and you notice I haven't swept the floor or dusted any piece of furniture in what looks like a long time, I probably haven't. But I'm working on it. I do want to take pride in my home, I really do. I just... am working on it :)
