So tonight a mission trip leader called me, wanting to know why there was information missing on a report I created for him. Granted, there are a lot - and I mean a LOT of people going on this trip. But still, whenever people point out my mistakes it literally turns my entire day around. I go from having a good day to a bad one, in a matter of seconds.
Does this make me a perfectionist?
When someone points out something that I did wrong or missed, it makes me feel like a failure. If I could run to the church and correct the report this very second (6:26 p.m. on a Friday night), I would. Unfortunately I can't because I don't have access to a certain area of the building. It is going to drive me nuts that I made this mistake until Monday at noon, when I go to work and fix it.
I guess it would be weird if I was okay with making mistakes... so maybe it's not a bad thing that I dwell on them, eagerly looking forward to the moment when I am able to make it right.
But one could also make an argument that it is a matter of pride. Maybe I am so prideful that having someone else notice my shortcomings is more embarrassing because it is more of a shot to my pride than anything else.
I don't know. All I really care about right now is getting back to work so I can fix that stinkin' report!
3 comments:
Perfectionism is something to work on. At 51 I'm better at giving myself the right messages when I make a mistake than the wrong ones. I'm sure you know all those right messages.
Perhaps God saw fit to let you learn of your mistake when you couldn't fix it right away to force you to start sending those messages?
Or maybe it's something to learn from. I spoke a ocuple weeks ago and didn't practice my speech beforehand and had 2 missing powerpoint slides. It was so embarrassing.
Then this weekend I was running powerpoint words for worship music. I pride myself here on finding every little mistake before the 1st service starts. But I didn't go over a section I knew was fine. Guess what. It wasn't. An entire song was wrong.
The message I got loud and clear from both these experiences was quit being sloppy and CHECK MY WORK!
Sometimes honest mistakes happen that one just learns from. And sometimes one needs to be reminded by mistakes to shape up in an area.
Either way, the mind quest is to learn, shake it off, and let it go.
If it makes you feel better, I think you're perfect.
:)Jill
Lisa, I am the same way! I think God wants to work on us in this area. I have had a rotten week due to this very sort of thing. I had a terrible time skiing because I'm a perfectionist. Interestingly, two of my thesis students for next year are researching this topic. I will let you know what they find out about us. LOL.
Natalie
Well I am glad to know I'm not the only one like this!
Natalie, definitely let me know what those thesis students discover - I'm sure it'll be interesting.
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