Snow

Being snowed in is the best.  Especially the weekend after Spring Break.

That is all.

Just another thought

I read a great blog post today - it was a response to the "To The iPhone Mom" post.  You've probably read it, or at least seen it shared on Facebook.  (If you haven't, just Google it.)  It was really good, and I resonated with it deeply.

And when I went to "share" it on Facebook, it dawned on me that I, too, have a blog.  Not that anybody would know it, since I mainly only use it to share pictures, but that's neither here nor there.  So I clicked over here to Blogspot and signed in.  The last time I posted anything on here was over a year ago.  A year!  For someone who claims to love writing, I have done a pretty terrible job of keeping up with a simple little blog. 

Then that got me thinking... yes, my trains of thought are often quite jagged and I jump from one place to another at lightening speed... Why?  Why don't I blog more often?  Well, for one thing, Facebook makes it so that I don't HAVE to blog to keep our loved ones up to date on our goings-on and such.  I also would have to dedicate time to it, which is a resource that I don't have much of these days.  At least not for something like this. 

Wait, "something like this?"  Something like what, exactly?  Unproductive?  Useless?  Pointless?

And there is my dilemma.  Yes, a blog these days, for us regular folks with kids and jobs, can be considered pretty unproductive, useless, and sorta pointless.  I SHOULD be dusting, vacuuming, laundering something, or scrubbing bathrooms when I have free time.  But I love writing.  I do.  So is it okay to do something that I love.... just because I love it?  Is it a waste of time if it is purely for pleasure and no other reason? 

I started reading "Eat, Pray, Love" this week, and while Ms. Gilbert and I disagree on most things spiritual (at least so far - we're still in the "eat" session in Italy), one thing that I am coming to realize that I agree with her on is that we, as human beings, should allow ourselves to spend time doing things which bring us pleasure, even if they are unproductive.   And we shouldn't be ashamed of doing so.  My personality is one that cannot stand "wasting" time.  I always find the fastest route from Point A to Point B, and don't bother finding another way.   If there is no point, I don't do it.   So giving myself permission to sit and just write gives me inner conflict that I have dealt with by simply NOT doing it.

I want to change that. 

I think God gave us each different passions and desires, and if we love doing something, that is the thing that we must do.  Even if there are other tasks that need to be done.  Even if life tries to get in the way.  Writing is one of very few things that brings me back to my true self.  I want to start releasing the guilt that creeps in whenever I start doing something just for me and my own enjoyment, and the embarassment that someone might judge me for writing a silly blog.  I hate that these things bug me, but they do. 

So I'm just going to do it.  I'm going to write whenever I can.  Maybe on this blog, maybe in my journal.  Because I like doing it and that's okay.  No, writing won't get dinner on the table or wash a load of laundry, but it will center me and remind me of who I am and what I'm about, while giving me release of the tornado of thoughts and feelings that whirl around in my mind everyday.  And that makes it worth it.

Merry Christmas!

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Family Pictures Fall 2011

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First Day of Preschool 9/14/10

Well life continues to chug along! Tim is working part time at Eastview and working as a substitute teacher part time. He actually doesn't mind it at all, and is wondering if teaching might be something he'll want to do someday. And he always comes home with the FUNNIEST stories about a high schooler who was trying to act tough, but really just made a fool of himself/herself, or an auto mechanics co-op class full of country boys that invite him to go crap shooting after school. :) So funny.

Jack is almost 3 and so uninterested in potty training that I'm wondering if he'll ever use the toilet in his whole life. At this point, it's not looking good. I realize that most kids don't start until after they're 3, but Jack is so smart that we had hoped it would be easier than this! But I try to remind myself that even though he IS so smart and has the vocabulary of an older child, he is still 2, so our expectations shouldn't be higher than they would be for the average 2 year old.... I'm just so tired of changing poopy diapers...

As for me, my counseling degree has been put on hold. It ended up being too much for me to handle at one time. I wish I could just take one class at a time, but you don't get loans for that option :( And we can't afford to pay for each class at this point in time. I'm fine taking some time off. Tim is still trying to decide if/when he wants to start taking classes again, and I want to hold off on making decisions about my own degree until he has settled into what he wants to do. I'm learning a lot about patience!

We still love our house, but as Jack gets bigger and wants to run around more and more, it has started feeling smaller and smaller. I've been dreaming of getting a house... and for now it will just remain a dream :) Someday it will happen!

I've been working lately on being content with what I have - not just content, but joyful! I so easily get stuck in ruts where I feel like everything is annoying or irritating and everyone is just so selfish and thinks only about themselves. Well... that would make ME all of those things, too, wouldn't it?!? I get so inside my own head and could stay there for days if I didn't make the conscious effort to try and think less about myself and focus on others. This sounds bad, doesn't it?? Well that's my struggle. I THINK too much. Life would be so much better if I could just quit thinking about stuff. Just invest in others - love on others, and life would be easier to take, I think. There I go... thinking again!